These are simple things I try to work on daily. (referring to the list below) ‘Forgive & Let Go’ is the one I find that comes up the most for me. I can forgive easily but letting go? Moving on? Easier said than done. I’ve lost three people close to me in the last year. Heart attack, Gunshot, Drowned. They all were very special people and knowing them made me a different person. I miss them everyday. Their void cannot be filled. I am only being brief about them here because I plan to expand soon to tell you my experiences with them. I love that I can still hear the sound of their voices, laughs and see their smiling faces. Even if just in my minds memory.
Only a few people know of my involvement with charity in Portland. I was never there to let anyone know. I just wanted to help. The type of work involved cancer patients, children mostly. I learned so much from getting to know them. Helping them smile was a small effort for all they gave me. Courage only begins to describe what was shown to me. Though many of their stories had happy endings, many did not. Those are the ones that are hard for me to let go. I don’t know how doctors can take that on a regular basis. I’ve tried to mask it, but I know it has effected me deeply.
In relationships I feel I have been pretty lucky. I have been loved and in love and even though I have had my heart broken more than once, I wouldn’t have changed anything. I think my heart is healthier for having taken chances, and it has given me perspective on what I want. I am not bitter nor do I wish anything bad for those who have hurt me. I know I am always happier in the end. The people who have broken my heart and moved on are still special to me. They have helped me learn and experience new things and have given me confidence to be better in the future. So I thank them and only wish them well. Being with them was not a mistake.
As I write this I imagine you are wondering, “What’s the point to all of this?” Well I saw this list and it made me think about what I try to do to improve myself. It’s a daily effort. I feel that having had the experiences I’ve mentioned has made me find new ways to be a better person. I hope to continue to evolve and maintain a healthy outlook. A friend posted this on facebook. It inspired my thoughts. Maybe it will inspire you too…